As we
grow older, the number of deaths of people we love, or have impacted our lives
in a major way, seem to accumulate, heart-rending in their finality. They are gone. Close paragraph. Unfortunately, for the last six years,
someone close to me has died, some years more than one. The first reaction is sadness or grief. Eventually I have come to accept them, though
not forget the pain. I have lost both my
parents; my mother-in-law; the mother of one of my dearest friends; two
brothers-in-law; the first person I came out to; my dear voice teacher and
supporter and friend. Now, just a few
short weeks ago, two teachers who taught me life changing things in High School
have died far too early. Mrs. Culbertson
urged me to keep high standards for myself: what was the point of doing
something half-assed (she would never say such a term!) when you can do it to
the best of your ability? I’ve always
tried to do just that. And Jan Jones,
whom I called Miss Jones during the day, but she was such a good friend to me
and my family I always think of her as Jan, taught me to trust my instincts, and
my heart, for I was a better observer of life than I gave myself credit.
For
the last few years, I have had the privilege on several occasions to hear a
fine soprano, and a fine friend, Alison Davy, sing a setting of Thornton Wilder’s
beautiful words from his most popular play: Our
Town. As life would have it, recent to whenever she sang this lovely piece,
I was dealing with the death of one of these people so important to me. The music is simple, touching, sad. For so are the words. Ironically, Jan directed me in a production
of Our Town, so the lines stick in my
mind. In the play, the spirit of a young woman who died in childbirth speaks
them. But though she is saying farewell,
and voices what the living never seem to realize, surely her discovery is one
we should, and can, take to heart. May
we appreciate what we have while we live.
Good-bye , Good-bye
world. Good-bye, Grover's Corners....Mama and Papa. Good-bye to clocks
ticking....and Mama's sunflowers. And food and coffee. And new ironed dresses
and hot baths....and sleeping and waking up. Oh, earth, you are too wonderful
for anybody to realize you. Do any human beings ever realize life while they
live it--every, every minute?
